Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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