i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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