remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
