If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
