I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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