i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
