New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
