Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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