tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
