I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
