but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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