The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
