drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
