I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
