i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
