STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
