Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
