Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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