Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize