Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
