where am i from again
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
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