There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My vagina is officially offended.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
