What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
