Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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