Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
