A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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