I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
just tell him i said nine months
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
