Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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