Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Acid is not a monday night drug
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
