Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
