you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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