thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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