so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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