my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Too much gin, very little bucket
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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