Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
