As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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