you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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