Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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