Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I want a musical about memes.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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