i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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