sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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