We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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