the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
