if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
