Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
