just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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