My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Shame - the story of my life.
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