So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
