That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
you never un-have a 4some
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
