Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
