Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
