sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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