i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
