so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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