just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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