i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
