I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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