So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
That was before I lit my hair on fire
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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