absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
