is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
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