Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
