Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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