Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
