Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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