I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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