I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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