I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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