How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
