last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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