you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Someone came in the potted fern
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
