I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
