I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
