Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize